Battling Parental Guilt as a Work at Home Mom

Every mom suffers parental guilt in one way or another. But we can control this mommie guilt! Being a mother is the most important role I will ever have and like every other parent, I want to do it right. No matter how well we do something, there will always be someone who does it differently and sometimes, better. When I worked outside of the home, I experienced guilt about being away from my children for eight or more hours a day. Especially when they weren't in school, I just knew I was missing something...an important milestone...a cute moment...sweet kisses and hugs. And I just knew they needed something only I could take care of and then they would blame me for not being there. Of course all of this guilt is unjustified because to properly care for my kids, I had to work. As sad as it is, money is the key to surviving in today's society...without it, it's impossible to have the necessities of life.

As I stepped out into the freelance writing world, I knew staying home with my children would eliminate that crazy parenting guilt because I would always be there when they needed me. Boy, was I wrong! Because trying to work at home with three children running around has been a trying experience to say the least. My children do not always understand how mommie is at home but working at the same time. And I don't expect them to understand. Any time I have to say the words "Just a minute baby, mommie has to finish this article" I feel the mommie guilt start to rise again. But I have to work....it is a never ending cycle.

How do I handle it all? This goes back to my freelance writing rough schedule. I try to keep my work hours in line with their school hours. But that still leaves my baby at home who wants all of mommie's attention 24/7. My husband is home right now...normally his job keeps him out of state. He has been a big help in playing with Miss Lilie and keeping her day fun and entertaining. But his home time is usually limited to weekends. When that's the case, I combine work and play. Miss Lilie gets to snuggle beside mommie and watch her favorite shows, or draw pictures or tap away on her own toy laptop. I take frequent breaks to tickle and kiss and give her attention. And after lunch, she naps for two hours where I bang out my hardest workload for the day. I actually get a lot down in two hours of solid, quiet writing time.

I try not to work to do any freelance writing Saturdays unless I am playing catch up on some missed work. That way I have a day with all of our daughters without any work obligations. Of course, there are days of a full workload where all of my children are home and the hubby is out of town. These days are harder to accomplish. I want my children to know they are top priority in my life while instilling a solid work ethic. I have another rough schedule for these days. I do all of the mommie duties: breakfast and lunch and snacks for instance. I schedule my work around these.

Usually, its breakfast at 8 and lunch at 12. I have a fridge full of cheap lunchables that make great lunches. I have a low cabinet in the kitchen that includes bagged snacks like animal crackers, fruit snacks, Cheez-its, etc that they can get themselves. If they need something, I stop and handle it. If I can see they need mommie love and attention, I stop and give it. I have a dry erase board that has a list of family rules that my children know by heart. I always refer them to the family rule board to see if the answer is there to the problem (such as fighting) before stopping my work to fix it.

This may not work for every family but it works great for us because it gives our children boundaries, teaches them respect, and shows them the importance of working hard. This list also includes things that my husband and I created to teach our children that mommie is working and that some things can be handled independently. For example, the personal property rule. This means if someone has not given you permission to play with a toy or other object that belongs to them then return the property to them. We are all entitled to our own personal property. Keep in mind this applies to my oldest two...I do not expect my baby to understand.

Some days I only get half of my normal work done but I feel by going about it this way I can get some work done while still being there for my kids. Parenting guilt is inevitable but by handling my work days this way, I feel the guilt about working at home less and less.